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Psychological Self-Evaluation

March 10, 2016 • By

March 10, 2016

Day 30. I’ve survived a month without coffee, sweets of any flavor, and not one drop of alcohol.

That fact alone should give me confidence to dig in for the remaining willpower required.   Instead I am riddled with doubt. It occurred to me last week I may have an identifiable issue where caffeine is concerned.raw coffee beans

My cure for doubt- information. Today I walked to the college library in search of what professionals might consider a “problem” with caffeine consumption. News reports are conflicting. One study suggests coffee is good for you; another reports it’s bad. The inconsistencies should leave me hovering in the everything-in-moderation zone. But I’ve been told flat out I’m a person driven to extremes. My understanding of moderation may be a bit murky.

Today’s objective- a psychological self-evaluation using The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-V.  Still shelved behind the main desk for reserved use only, I knew it would yield facts needed to put my fluttering mind at ease.

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Week Three: I Started Talking Again, To God

February 29, 2016 • By

I talk to myself a lot. Like you, right? These days more than ever. Why? Could be my imagination, but I think my friends have stopped talking to me.

I arrived at work this morning and walked into the mail room (where the coffee pot sits). Keeping with decades of tradition, my pre nine o’clock class friends had gathered.

clock at eight fiftyHearing me step inside, the room went silent. It was as if they’d been electrocuted. Eyebrows lifted, they stared. I struggled to reach my mailbox and wondered had I shrunk another inch.

I left wearing a flat grin and reminded myself how much easier it is to smile after eating a snickers bar. I echoed down the hall to my office wishing I had worn shoes with rubber soles. Safe at my desk I wondered what had been said about me over communal java back there. Time for class. I silenced my phone and noticed a text alert. It was Deb.There was my answer.

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Ready, Set, Snap

February 23, 2016 • By

Week two update….

I find myself thinking about how I am thinking these days. It borders on meditation.

I walked into a classroom filling up with semi-conscious college coeds and stacked my notes on the lectern. Words carefully typed. My eyes jumped from letter to letter unable to focus on any arranged set. I tried to put two thoughts together from memory. And failed.

The quiet in the room disturbed me. I looked across rows of long tables and my thoughts landed in the good old days. Classes began with shushings of jitter-juiced twenty-somethings. Today all that chatting happens on cell phones without eye contact, without sound. The collection of tall cups dotting tabletops was reassuring. Coffee prevails, even in this digitized cohort.